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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25799401">Shenanigans</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Pen_Dragon/pseuds/The_Pen_Dragon'>The_Pen_Dragon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Goro did not want to go to this party, Haru buys KFC, Haru has a pet skunk, Multi, PersonaGravyGang2020, formal party, look i'm sorry okay, sitcom style scenario</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:09:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,424</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25799401</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Pen_Dragon/pseuds/The_Pen_Dragon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru is celebrating her purchasing the majority shares of the fast food conglomerate KFC, and her new pet skunk probably shouldn't be loose at this party.</p><p>Written for Day 1 of the Persona Gravy Gang Event</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist, Niijima Makoto/Okumura Haru, Suzui Shiho/Takamaki Ann</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Day 1 - Bathing in Gravy</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Shenanigans</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Goro approached the front door uneasily, being half-dragged by a much more excited Akira. The two were dressed up like they were headed to a black tie event, Akira in his black pencil skirt and favorite red heels, and Goro in a nice suit, hair forcefully pulled into a ponytail by an overzealous Futaba, who insisted he looked ‘so much cuter’ that way. And they were, in a way, going to a pretty fancy event. Still Haru’s acquisition of a new fast food chain was hardly a reason for Goro to set foot in her house in his mind.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Come on Goro, why are you so resistant to going to a little party? I thought you and Haru hung out just fine lately,” Akira huffed, tugging Goro up the stairs towards the fancy french doors.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Goro grumbled his way up the steps, looking at the ground, “We get along fine, it’s just-what if her father’s other business partners are here? I know a few of them, it’s going to be incredibly awkward.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that,” Akira chuckled, “Haru managed to weed out and fire most of the corrupt business partners a few years back. This party is just close friends and some of her new American business partners. Come on, you’ll get to show off how good you are at English, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>how much you enjoy that.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Goro thought it over, slowly picking up the pace so Akira was less dragging and more walking alongside him. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>like showing off how fluent he was in other languages… and if Okumura’s old business partners weren’t a threat, well, he supposed he could handle a few hours in Haru’s mansion. It wouldn’t be </span>
  <em>
    <span>too </span>
  </em>
  <span>awkward. “Fine. But if you cause a scene, I don’t know you.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Akira grinned, eyes glimmering mischievously, “Would I ever do such a thing..?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He pushed open the door, rolling his eyes as he motioned Akira inside. He doubted any party involving the old Phantom Thieves would ever be a calm event, but he could at least pretend there was a shot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He spotted Futaba standing off to one side, her hair tucked neatly into a bun and Morgana under her arm. She seemed to be introducing him as her date for the evening to one of the American shareholders. Ryuji and Yusuke were over by the food table, discussing the party’s fancy food vs the greasy junk food brand Haru had just bought out. Ann was talking to some of the shareholders as well, Shiho on her arm as she happily discussed her time in America. Makoto was standing by Haru, the two of them were pouring over some papers, talking in hushed tones while the other guests mingled.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Goro walked up to the heiress, paying no mind as Akira bolted straight for his rowdy blonde friend at the food table. Goro wondered exactly how long he’d actually manage to go before some wild incident occurred. Haru looked up from her papers, greeting Goro with a bright smile, “Akira convinced you to come! Your hair looks so cute, Goro san!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Goro huffed, patting the tuft of brown that one might generously call a ponytail, “Futaba forced me into this. Those two force me into most things. I did at least want to congratulate you though, I hear it’s quite the acquisition, it’s a several billion dollar company, isn’t it?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Haru smiled sweetly, “It is! I’m not the owner or anything! I just happened to be able to purchase majority shares. So I’m more like a partner. It’s still quite exciting, and a wonderful opportunity to expand on my business.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Makoto looked up from her papers, “It is...but we’ve also been given a gift by the CEO’s son, and...well…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Mako chan, please stop worrying so much, it was a lovely gesture, and we’ve been wanting a pet anyway!” Haru replied.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Goro raised an eyebrow, “They gifted you a pet..? That seems awfully unusual.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“More than unusual,” Makoto mumbed, “It’s a polecat.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Polecat…” Goro echoed, trying to place the word. What kind of animal was that again..?</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“NYAA! I DON’T LIKE THE WAY IT’S LOOKING AT ME!” Morgana yowled from across the room.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The three looked over, seeing Morgana wriggle out of Futaba’s arms and bolt across the room, tail fluffed and eyes wide as a fluffy animal just a bit bigger and a LOT fluffier than the cat paced across the room. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Ryuji jumped as the cat shot up his leg, clawing his way up onto his shoulder, “hey-OW! Mona the hell?!” he yelped, spinning around and knocking a whole punch bowl off the table.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Akira and Yusuke jumped back, Yusuke framing the madness with his hands as the punch stained the floor and the bowl shattered against the wood. Haru covered her mouth and Makoto and Goro hurried towards the mess, both intending to stop this Rube Goldberg stye absurdity. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Makoto ran to the glass, shooing people away from the shattered mess, and Goro hurried towards the animal, remembering about two seconds too late what a polecat was. Akira was hurrying off to find a broom and Haru was apologizing and ushering her guests away from the mess as Goro made the terrible mistake of picking up the little animal, wanting to make sure it didn’t get into the glass.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>It stared at him with its cute, beady little eyes, and his own eyes widened. Ah yes, a polecat. The skunk’s adorably fluffy tail raised, justifiably startled by all the commotion and by being grabbed, and sprayed.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>---</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Two hours later, the shareholders were on their way to a hotel Haru had graciously paid for, Akira and Ann had all the glass swept up, Morgana was apologizing over and over for causing this mess, and Goro was sitting by himself in a corner, absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuming.</span>
  </em>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The front door opened, and Sumi scurried in, “I am so sorry! My meet ran long, I hope I’m not too late for the...party..?” she stopped short, tilting her head. Then her nose scrunched and she quickly pinched it shut, “What on earth happened in here? Why does it smell like skunk?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Goro growled angrily, and Makoto motioned towards him vaguely. Akira laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck, “Goro kinda got sprayed.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Sumi blinked, looking around at everyone, “He...how?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Haru sighed in frustration, rubbing her temples and shaking her head, “I’m not sure how this happened...I heard domestic skunks got de-scented at a young age. Why on earth would Mr. Lowings son have a wild skunk? This is a disaster…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Ryuji scratched his head, “I mean, I doubt anybody can blame you, it’s not like you knew. ‘Sides, they were the ones that brought the thing.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I don’t want the other investors to have a bad first impression of me,” Haru shook her head.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“It’s a buncha guys who own part of a chicken joint, how high can their standards be?” Ryuji snorted.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Yusuke elbowed him, “Do not disrespect food, Ryuji. I have tried their chicken, it is delicious.” The artist turned towards Haru, “despite Ryuji’s foolish attitude, I do agree that this was not your fault, I doubt they could hold it against you.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Yeah, hello?!” Goro snapped, “That’s all fine and well, but I can’t just fucking walk around like this! That disgusting animal has </span>
  <em>
    <span>cursed </span>
  </em>
  <span>me with its scent!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Akira walked over, holding his nose and patting Goro’s head, “I still love you.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“That means virtually nothing,” Goro retorted.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Haru giggled, “As funny as you being stuck smelling like skunk is-”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Wow,” Goro said flatly.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“-I do agree we should probably do something about this. Isn’t there something that gets out skunk smell faster than soap?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Oh yes, I’ve heard that!” Sumi chimed in, “I can’t remember what it was though, some kind of sauce or something?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Futaba nodded, “Yeah, I’ve seen idiots who got sprayed by skunks talk about it all the time online, it’s-”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Ain’t it gravy?” Ryuji cut her off.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Goro’s nose scrunched, “Gravy…? Like, the thick brown junk made from animal byproducts..?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Do not disrespect gravy,” Yusuke said coldly.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I mean, it smells pretty strong, an’ it’s thicker than water, so it’d totally cover skunk smell! Right? Is that what it was ‘taba?” Ryuji asked hopefully.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Futaba was fighting to keep a straight face, clearly swallowing a laugh before replying, “Yep. totally. That was what it was. Sorry bro bro, you gotta make like a human potato and dunk yourself in some gravy.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<span>Goro made a face, not enjoying that mental image at ALL. He crossed his arms, “I’m not doing that.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“So you want to smell like a dumpster fire crossed with a gamer convention all week?” Futaba pressed.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Yeah, I think you have to do it,” Akira agreed, also looking pretty amused, “I know you, you can’t possibly stand this.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Goro scowled, “Well...it doesn’t matter anyway! Where the hell would we get enough gravy for a bathtub? The thought disgusts me…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Haru cleared her throat, eyes twinkling and hands clasped, “Well...at it just so happens, the fast food chain I’ve just purchased shares in is rather well known for its gravy.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Goro looked at her flatly.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Makoto beamed as well, “Ohh yeah! Didn’t you get a lot of it while you were in negotiations?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Haru giggled sweetly, her grin making Goro uncomfortable, “Oh yes...I was worried it might go to waste, but now…”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“H-hey now, I never said I would if we did have enough! Isn’t there anything else?!” Goro protested.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Akira was already grabbing one of his arms, Futaba racing around to grab the other. Ann snickered behind her hand, and poor Sumi tried her absolute hardest to look like she wasn’t amused by this idea. Goro hated her a little less for making the effort, at least. It was clear he wasn’t getting out of this, he deflated, groaning weak protests as his boyfriend and half sister dragged him off to one of Haru’s lavish bathrooms.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>---</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Goro sat grumpily on the tile floor, arms folded as the others dumped a comical amount of gravy containers into Haru’s large bathtub. They were all giggling like idiots, any stress totally forgotten at the prospect of making Goro sit in a fucking tub of gravy. He picked up one of the containers, noting the ‘KFC’ logo with animosity. He was going to avoid eating anything from this chain for the rest of his life out of pure spite. And if he saw Haru’s feral skunk again, he was dunking IT in gravy.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>After ten minutes of preparing Goro’s doom, most of the team left the bathroom. Akira and Morgana stayed in the room, Morgana perched on the bathtub’s edge, looking apologetic.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“This is my fault, I really didn’t mean for this to happen,” Morgana meowed, tail swishing. He averted his eyes, covering his eyes with a paw as Akira wrestled Goro out of his clothes. Goro hissed like he himself was a feral rodent, but he did let Akira take his suit off.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Man, I hope we can save this, it’s such a nice suit,” Akira mumbled, setting the clothes aside. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Goro glared at the most likely ruined clothes, “If that skunk ruined my best suit, I’m shaving Morgana.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“WHAT?!” Morgana yowled.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I’d ruin your clothes, but you don’t have any!” Goro snapped, “face the consequences of your actions!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Morgana hissed and shot behind a waste bin, “Leave my precious coat alone! I apologized already!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Akira lifted Goro up under the arms, and the brunette grumbled, kicking his legs weakly, “is there any way out of this..?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Akira hoisted him up with some effort, and then unceremoniously dumped him into the tub, “Sorry honey.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Goro splashed into the gravy and tensed up, making a face as the warm sauce covered him. He hoped it wouldn’t get in his hair. Then realized that if he wanted the smell out, he’d probably HAVE to put it in his hair. He closed his eyes, sitting perfectly still in the several gallons worth of KFC gravy, “This is the worst thing I’ve ever had to deal with.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Akira laughed loudly, “Seriously? The absolute worst? Worse than-”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Okay you know what? We aren’t doing this,” Goro cut him off, holding up one finger, “this is just incredibly disgusting, fuck off.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The bathroom door opened, and the rest of the team all poked their little idiot heads in, “Hey, can we come in now?” Ann asked.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Goro crossed his arms over his chest, “FUCK no!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Futaba squeezed her way in, scurrying over like the little gremlin she was, holding her phone out, “Oh don’t be dramatic! Your bits are all covered!” she snorted, “gravy covered.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Goro hissed at her, sinking lower into the stuff.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The rest of the team, despite Goro’s protests, all came in anyway. They were all giggling like morons, looking at the angry, gravy-covered ex hitman. Futaba snapped a picture, grinning wider, “mwehehe, blackmail.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Very funny,” Goro scoffed, “Are you done gawking like a bunch of children? It’s bad enough I have to bathe in this mess, I’d like to not have nine people staring at me!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“I’m sorry Goro san, it’s just...really really funny!” Sumi said, still trying her hardest not to laugh, “Th-there is one thing that confuses me though. Um, gravy is tasty and has a nice smell usually, true, but isn’t it a bit weak-smelling to cover up something like skunk spray..?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Futaba snorted harder, tucking her phone away, and Ryuji’s eyes widened, covering his mouth. Goro glared at him hard, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>what?”</span>
  </em>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Ryuji covered his mouth, face turning red, “...oh my god...it was tomatoes.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Futaba burst out laughing at this, Akira joining her pretty quickly. The two were practically crying laughing as Goro grit his teeth, “I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>sorry??</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Makoto cleared her throat, “Tomato juice masks skunk odor.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Goro closed his eyes, taking a breath, “...Are you telling me...that I am sitting in a tub full of FUCKING GRAVY, for </span>
  <em>
    <span>NOTHING?!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Not nothing,” Futaba snorted, “It’s HILARIOUS!”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Goro glowered at her, sinking lower into the gravy as the rest of the group collapsed into laughter. Even dear sweet Sumi, who had been keeping it together so well, collapsed into a fit of laughter, falling to the floor from how hard she was losing it.</span>
  <span></span><br/>
<span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Goro flushed red as the rest of the group were all crying with laughter, he would get back at them for this somehow. Unfortunately, he was pretty sure a gun was out of the question this time...</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Persona Gravy Gang is real and now I'm a part of it forever</p><p>Your confused comments and kudos are, as always, wonderfully appreciated!</p><p>Follow me on Twitter @PentheDragon for more insanity, and also updates whenever I post a new chapter or fic! Love you all so much! &lt;3</p><p>And you can join in the fun and madness too! Our official twitter is @gang_gravy, Insta is gang.gravy, and tumblr is gravygangofficial!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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